Christuskerk: not a totally pain-in-the-ass free experience

Christchurch. You sometimes might think how silly the Dutch are with there placenames, but the Kiwi's aren't any better. It would sound like Christuskerk, which is a stupid name, but in English you can get away with anything because it sounds soo coool. Anyway nor Christ, nor God was here when the earthquake hit Chch in 2010 and 2011. Most of the CBD is now a redzone, meaning they put barriers around the whole center and so you can't get in, it's too dangerous. It really looks like a ghost town there, empty houses and buildings. A bit like in the movie 'I am legend', but without the zombies. It's really interesting to see, but all what has left is a boring city. Because everything in the center, the most interesting part normally, was destroyed, there is nothing left to do or see. There is now a project called Re-start, where some bussineses have relocated themselves in shipcontainers. A good plan for when another earthquake hits the city. Not unlikely because they still feel quakes every now and then. For me this is the terminus of the trip, which involves, inevitably, getting rid of the car. In short, this last week pretty much resembled my first week. I arrived on thursday because I would meet with some people who were interested in the car. In the end nobody showed up. Meanwhile I was doing all the free stuff you can do around here, like the Airforce and Canterbury Museum and a cool farmers market with local products, but that's pretty much it. I mean you can do Christchurch in a day, and I would be stuck here for a week. Help. I just rushed through other cities because they were so fucking boring, and Chch is nothing else. On top of that I forgot about the Easter weekend, meaning everything was closed for days. No library, no supermarkets, and I was just running out of food, and most importantly, no car market. I had to drop my price a few times, so more people would respond. And they did, but once they saw the car, nobody wanted to purchase it. Untill today. Yesterday I went to this Backpackers Car Market, where they ask like 95 bucks to display your car in front of their business. I didn't want to pay that. There is virtually nobody buying anything now. Their whole backyard and garage was stuffed with vans and cars. One guy was already trying for two weeks to get rid of his car. So I was thinking, I just park my car in the street and if there are customers coming out again I can talk to them. Damn, this office woman, a fat blond cow, got really pissed off, and stold me I was stealing their customers. But those 3 girls were leaving anyway, so what what's the big deal. She noticed my license number and stuff, but I just took those three girls in my car. But no luck here. These were really long and boring days. Basically you just wait and wait, and maybe nobody will show up that day. And if somebody does, just keep smiling. After soome hours I started talking to a Chilean painter who just lived next to the car market. He would buy my car for 800dollars if I couldn't get rid of it. Ok, nice back-up plan. Meanwhile I saw some other people at their home in Hei Hei (haha, funny name). This guy used to be a mechanic, so no way to deceive him, but he told me the car had been in an accident and was poorly repainted and restraightened. The other thing was the battery, which was actually too high and too big, and was touching the bonnet. So if the small red rubber on the +pole of the battery wouldn't have been there, the whole car might just have gone airborne. I really need to take some basic mechanic courses once I'm back home. But today was salvation day for my ass, because I got rid of the car. After the boss forced me to remove my For Sale notes or getting towed away this morning, because I was violating some business protection-competition law, and a whole day of waiting, two people wanted to buy it without testdriving or anything. They only offered 800dollars, but I didn't hesitate here. I lost a lot of money, but it's still better than a scrapyard or just nothing. What a relief. I got really desperate here. Some people just pay 450dollars to the market and wait for the next season so they can resell it for them. But considering the poor condition of my car - shit battery, broke radiator, wheels not aligned, no more profile on some wheels because of all the gravel, old cambelt, low oil,.. - a too costy and tricky option. I could as well just drive it into the ocean or set it on fire. I feel a bit sorry for those two people, but sometimes you have to be hard, and anyway what do you want if you just pay 800dollars. Like I said, God is not here, so he couldn't possibly be watching. So for the moment I am staying at the botanical gardens, which are really nice. It's a gigantic park, 265hectares, and an ideal spot for camping. It's just one of my principles not to stay at a hostel during the whole trip, except the start maybe, so I want to finish it like that. Just two full months of living in a car and tent. I just need to climb over the spiky fence every evening because they close it. Camping in a city, it's a kind of a challenge, just not to get discovered and staying hidden. And not paying any parking, no fining, no cops, great8 Just 2 more nights and then this gigantic beard Viking will come home, after more then 7000km by car, at least 350km on foot, gallons and gallons of petrol, 4 pair of ruined socks, 1 shredded pants, 1 pair of destroyed shoes, dozens of sandfly bites and blisters, oceans of sweat, thousands of pictures and memories for life, meeting a lot of crazy extraordinary people, 1 deer for dinner, hundreds of euros poorer, and heaps of good ideas and future (car:-))lessons richer. I would say: MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!

Mt. Cookie Monster: New Zealand's biggest hoax

It just doesn’t exist. I went there and I didn’t see it. The tourist industry just invented the whole story about a cookie monster living on Mt. Cook, which I also didn’t see, to lure naïve people to the valley, get them disappointed, and make them happy again with an all-in stay at the Hermitage hotel after the oh so tiring 8km stroll to a lookout point at a glacial lake from where you couldn’t see a thing, because they covered the bloody mountain with their cloud machine and this mythical mountain monster lives on the fucking top. Add some strong gales, more hurricane like, and granny and grumpy are all to willingly to just not take the walk and stay at the hotel to enjoy a buffet. At least I could see that, I could smell it, I was so close, I was inside, but trying to go up in the pensionclub seemed impossible. A can of pumpkin soup wasn’t that bad at all. So you see, I’m not that lucky here at all. There are three really big lakes here: Lake Ohau, near Twizel and just adjacent to the Fields of Pelennor, Lake Pukaki at Mt. Cook, and Lake Tekapo, which all form the picture perfect combination with the mountains in the background. But not last week. Once you got closer to the lakes and mountains from the main road, you would almost got blown away, like a storm at sea. While it was fine weather in the valley, all the clouds were sticking to the mountains, and it can take ages before they get over it. So after a ‘windy’ sleepness night – total silence interrupted by unexpected windblasts that pulled a couple of pegs – at Mount Cook Village, I wasn’t really keen to go up the ridge to the Mueller hut. There was nothing to see anyway with all those clouds, and I was planning just to leave. But after checking out the Tasman Glacier Lake, the only lake in the world or so with icebergs in it, me and Anna, a German woman, again, just decided to go up and have a look. And we were quite lucky because we didn’t see rain whole day while it looked pretty bad around us, and although we didn’t see the New Zealand’s highest mountain, we were rewarded with some nice vistas of the valley and a cool hike. No all-you-can-eat to finish the day, so I moved on to Lake Tekapo next day. No view on Mt.Cook from this side either, but only hordes of Japanese picture hunting madness. Moveuh! The only option was to wait for the weather turning better. And luckily the sky cleared and I could do a long day hike again, at Mount Somers, situated in the Mid Canterbury region. With 27km around the mountain, it looked doable. If I could do the Routeburn in one day, then this would be fine. But it would be the longest day ever on the entire trip. This was not a Great Walk, and an exhausting 6km killer part halfway almost got me down. Here you just had to hike up a ladder like trail, over slippery muddy tree roots, to discover you went down again, and up and down. In other words: STOEMPEUH! Although it was getting easier after that, I was just destroyed, going into the red zone where it comes to survival. You just have to continue then. So after 9hours hiking, I have never been so happy to see the car back again. Next day restday. Continuing on the same road to have a look at Mount Sunday, near Mount Potts station. Well this is your fucking iconic hill. In the middle of the plain, encircled by mountains and the Rangitata river, this roche mouton rises up. It’s called Mt. Sunday, because in the past the sheepherders would meet here at Sunday. More importantly, this place was used to built Edoras, the capital of Rohan. This is just the most recognizable location from the movies, really impressive, but also very small at the top, so I didn’t know how they put all the sets on top. It’s a cool feeling anyway, with nice views this time: mountains with snow. How about that!

From gravel to the grave

1000km! That is the distance I drove from Te Anau. And with 6000km travelled in total, more than from here to the South Pole, you really start to understand how expansive this country really is. But after the Kepler, my left foot was really painful, so doing some driving was welcome. Maybe I should get some new socks somewhere. When not one toe, but all your toes are sticking out, a normal person should get the incentive to buy new ones. At least Selleys Shoe Glue Tube 2 has already kickstarted, so I can continue my dirtbagger lifestyle a little bit longer. From Te Anau I drove all the way down to the coast and to the Catlins forest park. Once you get to Invercargill, the city where you’ll see Claas, New Holland, John Deere and Case tractor dealers together on maybe a 1 to 2km stretch, you’ll notice that there is a lot of farming in this area here, green grass included. And with that a lot of people too. The whole East Coast is far more populated than other parts I’ve seen so far. I only made a quick stop in Invercargill, but met the German guy again with whom I finished the Tongariro a couple of weeks ago. So funny how you still keep meeting the same people over and over again. After that I went further east direction Balclutha. You could just follow the highway, but I opted to take this little gravel side road, one of the first of many more. There was just more to see, like Slope Point, the southernmost point of the South Island, the petrified forest – fossilized tree logs on a beach – some waterfalls and the scary sounding Jack’s Blowhole. If there is one thing that I noticed during this time, it’s that summer is over. Most tourist have gone home. No more Spaceships, Juicy, Wicked or Escape campervans, or Kiwi motorhomes. It’s also getting pretty (too) cold at night, but the good thing is, I saw no sandflies in days, maybe because the hunting season is over. So no scratching anymore. Dunedin, the Victorian Edwardian style student city of NZ. I was looking forward to see the this after what other people told me about it, but it’s just badly overrated again. I guess it’s pretty hard to find an impressive city here when you’re familiar with our nice cities like Gent or Leuven. But after all the holes in the middle of nowhere I’ve been through, this looked like a megalopolis. Actually it was just looking like Wellington, also with a peninsula, the Otago Peninsula, where you could see Albatross and Yellow-eyed Penguins colonies, but only not for free, what I only found out after I drove the whole way to the end. So was already close to pissed off, and then all the traffic again back in town, I don’t have to draw a picture here right. So after a free museum visit, where you could relive NZ’s 60’s, 70’s, 80’s and 90’s period with all the high-tech stuff from back then, I had to get out, also because I didn’t pay for the parking lot, again. Somewhere between Dunedin and Oamaru, another Victorian style town, but much nicer, you can check out the Moeraki Boulders. An interesting geological feature, something which created big round boulders that get hollow on the inside. After hearing some people talk about Marmite and Vegemite, a kind of spread based on yeast extract, and how grose the taste was, it got my attention, but I never tried it, until now. Yeast can’t be that good, but sometimes you have to try the local products, and honestly it will stay with one try. It’s so disgusting that I will leave it to the people at home to finish it. An unexpected delicatessen souvenir, made by people with a sick mind because they walk upside down. In Oamaru I decided I also wanted to go back and up to Central Otago, the Rohan of New Zealand, but instead of driving back the same way, I discovered there was 65km gravel road connecting Duntroon with Naseby, called Danseys Pass. Perfect! I followed the educational Fossil Heritage Trail through the nice hilly countryside to the most awesome road I’ve ever done in my live. It was like off-road truckers, New Zealand’s most dangerous road or something. Backcountry driving with a 2WD car. Again, I know I keep repeating myself, there was almost no living soul out there. Although I’ve done a lot of gravel here, this was not just a road to the start of a hike or a valley, but really linking to towns, through desolated valleys and hills, with maybe 3 farms and some sheep on the way. At the start and the end you got a sign saying “School bus route”. Awesome way to go to school! After only one break for the overheated motor, some strange yeti sounds during the night (probably some male deer, cause the mating season is starting here) and an almost desperate start next morning on a remote DOC campsite to get the car started, I made my way to the Poolburn Reservoir, where they shot the very short scene where the Rohan village is burning, and where the Orcs are marching through Rohan. And you could think, oh again LOTR, but you can get to quite amazing and stunning remote locations if you get off the beaten track here. Just make sure you have enough petrol in the car and drive carefully, because all these gravel roads are more for 4WD sometimes, like I noticed a couple of days ago when I heard this disturbing scraping sound. Again some gravel to get back to the other valley (in total around 150km in those 3 days), to the Central Otago towns of Alexandra and Cromwell. Like I said, this is Rohan country. A really arid rocky barren landscape with spectacular hills and mountains, dry grass, no trees, sizzling hot in summer and crisp and cold in winter. A lot of gold mining, farming, viticulture and horticulture as well. Cromwell produces a lot of fruit and there are numerous vineyards, so it is also called ‘the fruit bowl of the south’. The funny thing here is that every town has its own specific must do’s, must see’s, and is always famous for some or another banal reason. Probably tourist deformation. Alexandra is like the Thyme capital of NZ, and they hold a Thyme festival, because thyme was introduced here with the settlers and should be the only place in the world, together with the Mediterranean area, where it grows. Now I’m getting to Twizel and Mount Cook, after almost being caught by the police last night. Staying more near the centre of Cromwell, in case my car wouldn’t start, I pitched my tent next to the lake, but in the middle of the night, like 2am, I woke up and see a jeep driving on the parking lot, with his spotlight looking for me in my car. Luckily I pitched my tent like 50m next to the carpark, and only my inner tent, which doesn’t have the little reflectors. And I was covered by the dark shades of the trees. But they must have been blinded by their own light, because they were putting the spotlight in my direction, but didn’t see me. Holding my breath for a few seconds, and then they just left. I just felt like a pro sniper taking a good aiming spot in the bushes. What a lucky smart guy I am. I just fooled the NZ cops. Take that!!